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Saturday, February 28, 2009
As I've written in my wish list on the panel on the right side of this page, I'm going to South Korea this summer. Obviously, I am really excited for that. Especially since this will be my first 'real' travelling ever, with no parents, I mean. Me and my friend are going to be by our own. I feel so mature already, haha. Anyway, my parents agreed to pay for my plane ticket. (Thank you so much Mom and Dad :D) Now for the rest, I have to pay by my self. The good news is, I'm going to stay in my friend's house, so it makes everything a whole lot easier (and cheaper, haha), but of course, I can't just stay on her house for the whole 26 days and do nothing. Waste of plane ticket and energy and time and plane fuel ... get what I mean? So I have to bust my ass off for about the next 4 months to earn some money for my pocket money there. So now, my goal is $500 in 4 months, which is not bad, really. If you break it down, it is $125/month. I get $50/month for pocket money, so it's down to $75/month. In total, my goal is to earn at least $150/month because I have to spend money for bus tickets and stuff. Which is again, not that bad. Of course I could earn $150 per month. I could even earn that in 2 weeks, given that I get quite a lot of shifts. Writing that makes it seems so much easier than I thought it would be. That doesn't mean it's impossible either. I just have to work hard. And I will. I am determined. It's probably a good thing I bought the plane ticket already, because now I can't back down and I have no other choice other than to work hard and be a wise spender. I will change my 'whatever' attitude and work hard from now on. Really, really hard. And of course I can do it. I can do (almost) anything I set my mind into. Except a few things of course, like flying, for example. I'm off on a tangent. Anyway, yes we can! And my birthday is tomorrow. Yaay! Or not. I mean, if you see that from a half-empty point of view, there is nothing really to celebrate about being one year closer to your death. And it will only be my 17th birthday. Pssh~ 17 is nothing. Wait until next year, I will be officially an adult! And wait until I'm 19, I'm finally legal to drink! Not that it really matters, but it's just that the feeling of being officially legal to do something is nice, haha. Again, off on a tangent. What I was trying to say is ... what was I trying to say again? Nevermind. Anyway, I'm not that excited for my birthday but it's still nice you know? It's a special day and I am special, we all are. I'm just going to have a lunch (yes, lunch) with my family, which works out perfectly, because I like to eat and we're going to a buffet =p If only my parents and brother were here :( But it's still okay. I refuse to be sad on my birthday :D YES WE CAN! Wednesday, February 25, 2009 Oh clubbox, thanks for being a bitch. Thank you very much. I'm bitter, can you tell? Tuesday, February 24, 2009 Quick and very short post cause I have to sleep, which I should've done like half an hour ago. I also still have to read the book for my English class, which again, should've been done like hours ago, but being the irresponsible human being that I am, I didn't do it. I'm wishing for more patience right now. Mine is wearing thin and it's not looking so good. God please help me. I don't like being angry and I don't like being upset. I like being patient, but as I said, I feel like it's wearing thin. Or maybe it's just because I've been lacking of sleep which resulting in me being cranky, or least crankier than usual. Or is it PMS? Or perhaps I'm just looking for excuses right now. On a random note, let's make Jun Pyo's mom suffer! :p Monday, February 23, 2009   Two pictures I took this morning. These are a glimpse of my view of almost every mornings from my bedroom. The ones when the weathers are nice anyway. The nicest the weather can get at this time of the year, however, is still not nice enough for me. It might look nice from the inside, but it's actually freezing cold outside. I mean, I came from Indonesia, which is a tropical country where there isn't even a teensy tiny bit of snow (except for the fake one of course, but that's a completely different story), to Canada, which has four seasons and the cold is just freaking awesome. Oh the joy! But I'm pretty much used to it by now. It's much better than the first time, at least. Before, it used to be : "Oh my fucking (insert other profanities here) it's freaking freezing!" But now it's more like : "Oh fuck it's freezing!" See the improvement? Kidding. I swear I don't swear. Sunday, February 22, 2009 A good night sleep usually eases my mind. No it doesn't get rid of the problem, but it makes me feel better. Anyway, I just don't get people who hurt themselves physically. That is very, very, very stupid in my opinion. And yet I was one of them. I didn't get to the point where I did cut my self or something like that, but I almost did it. Now, looking back, I realize how stupid I was. My mind was messed up, it still is, everyone's minds are, but to physically hurt yourself is still stupid. It's not gonna make everything's better, it's sure as hell won't get rid of your problems, what's the point then? You might as well shot yourself on the head and get it over with. Hurting yourself physically without intending to die only means 3 things. You're a coward, you're indecisive and you don't stand for anything in your life. You don't want to live yet you're too afraid to die. Now it's clear why you have problems in the first place. Girls, really wanna feel an extreme pain? Get knocked up and give birth to a child. And maybe you'll start appreciate someone's life. Want something less intense? Get a bikini wax. Guys, get your body hairs waxed. Sometimes, it's not about cutting your self or whatever, but people like to think that they are the only ones with problems in this world. Hello, look at the world around you. You're not the only one with problems. You wanna cry? Then cry. Wanna mope? Then mope. But after that, deal with your problems and then move on. You can say that this world is fucked up, that the society is damned and we're all going to hell, but you don't have to be a part of all this. You can be different from others. You can make something out of your life. You, you, and only you, because humans are essentially selfish after all. -- this post is intended mostly for me above anyone else. no offense intended. -- I managed to change the skin. Yaay me! Moving on to a more bleak topic. MAJOR HEADACHE. My head feels like exploding any moments right now. I mean, I'm a fairly positive person. I try to see the bright sides of things, but some things are just plain dark. And then everything's just become so depressing. I sometimes feel like hiding, or disappearing from this earth for a moment, just a moment, and when I get back, everything's will be alright, but I know I can't and that's a very cowardly thing to do. I will have to deal with my problems eventually; they won't go away just like that. I can't keep running away and hide from my problems. I'm not a child anymore for goodness sake. I am officially an adult next year. Can I picture my self as one? Right now, honestly, I can't. I still have a lot of things I need to fix. For me, being an adult means you know your responsibilities and you do them. I don't. Being an adult means believe in yourself more and deal with your problems instead of running away from them. I don't. Being an adult means you are not ignorant. I am. I'm by no means saying that adults are perfect or whatsoever, because nobody's perfect, but in my mind, being an adult means more responsibilities and if I can't deal with them, how can I deal with my self? Am I taking this way too far? I guess, what I'm trying to say is, even though I am not an adult (yet), I am also not a little child anymore. I can distinguish between what is right and what is wrong, I have a pretty good conscience, and when I choose to ignore my conscience, not only I hurt my self, but also other people. Doesn't that make me a bad person? I believe that every one has both good and bad side to them, it's only a matter of choosing which one you follow. For example, I know I have to change, that I can't be this way forever, but I can choose to either change or just let it be. BUT, even I chose to change, changing myself is not as easy as saying it. I can say, "Yea, I won't be so ignorant anymore. I won't be so lazy anymore," but to actually do that, it's so much harder. I guess I'm just weak. I can change it, though, yes? I really need my sleep. This is what happens when I don't get enough sleep, I make no sense whatsoever. The 3 and half movies I just watched~ 1. Pink Panther 2 I'm learning about detective fictions now in school and it's somewhat related to that, because in a way, it is a detective fiction BUT a twisted one. It has the elements of detective fictions but it's not one that you can take seriously because ... it is Pink Panther. You shouldn't watch this seriously because it is not. It gave me a good laugh, though. And at the end of the day, that's pretty much all that matters to me. 2. He's Just Not That Into You Good movie. It's light but it made me think. Relationships are truly confusing. Humans feelings are confusing. Anyway, it is a good chick flick and if you're into comedy romance just like me, you'll definitely enjoy this. It's funny, cute, romantic, and all that stuff. My favourite couple? Alex and Gigi. They're the kind of couple a lot of girls dream about - when the girl is able to change the bad guy - which of course, sadly, is a rare case in real life. 3. Slumdog Millionaire This movie is, hands down, one of the best movies I've ever watched in my entire life. The plot is great, it is visually pleasing (except for some parts, like when Jamal met Amitabh Bachan, totally gross), the soundtrack fits, and the actors are also great. I'm sure it is not perfect but I can't find the flaws as for now. Why should I anyway? No wonder they got nominated for 10 Oscars. Definitely a must-watch. It is a movie that has a happy ending but left me with a bittersweet feeling. 3.5 Madea Goes To Jail Why do I say half? Because I only watched half of it. I will try to watch it online, or wait until the dvd came out =p It is a hilarious movie but also deals with problems in today's society. It has both drama and comedy elements to it. Madea is one crazy woman, but she stands for what she believes and she doesn't let anyone step all over her. I could learn a lot from her. One of my favourite parts is when she goes to Dr. Phil. I like all the scenes involving Madea actually. A quote from the movie : "... I'm Madea, Ma to the damn D E A, you understand that?" Revolutionary Road is not playing though. I really want to watch that movie. Oh well, next time perhaps ^^ Labels: movies Saturday, February 21, 2009 I stopped being one a long time ago actually =p So, this is my 3rd time probably in here, trying to blog, ONCE AGAIN. Prediction of success? I'm pretty optimistic but we'll see. Why am I here? Well, I am a conformist and I strive for conformity. A lot of people blog, I blog. Honest answer, right? Another reason, because I love the skins. Aren't they the cutest things ever? (I tend to exaggerate small things. I can even make shoelaces become the most problematic thing ever if you want me to.) BUT, I'm still getting the hang of this. And I'm apparently not as big of an internet savvy as I make myself to be. This uses XML codes and I tried to change the skin (or the template, whatever) and it didn't work. I tried going to blogskins, it's in maintenance. So I'm confused now. I shall just wait until tomorrow (oh, it's tonight actually) to figure this all out. Or, if anyone can kindly help me, I will very highly appreciate your kindness. Or, last option, I'll just stick with this 'classic' template. Yea, tough choices. |
azalia♥ " a lady, trying to make her way in life. she's so fly, she touches the sky" February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010 April 2010 Designer : Chili. x o x o |